For Lainey + Margot
Trigger Warning: infant death
My friend Laura’s daughter, Lainey Mae Lazas, died suddenly + unexpectedly shortly after receiving her first round of CDC scheduled vaccines on March 25, 2022.
she was 62 days old.
She recently went on the At A Total Loss podcast to tell her + Lainey’s story. It’s one of the most heartbreaking and devastating stories I’ve ever heard. Despite the unbelievably tragic circumstances Laura has faced, she is a shining light. And I’m so proud of her for opening up about this despite the hate and division that surrounds this topic. Not only has she had to deal with the enormous grief surrounding Lainey Mae’s death, she has also dealt with a lot of fear + nervousness about sharing Lainey’s story knowing how turbulent this topic is.
Laura and I knew each other in college, but we reconnected over Instagram recently when Laura told me what happened to Lainey.
As you may or may not know, Margot suffered from 80+ seizures immediately following her first round of vaccines. She was on phenobarbital (a highly addictive, schedule IV controlled substance) for nearly a year, it slows your brain (and development) down so that the bursts of abnormal electrical signals that would cause a seizure essentially “fizzle out” before they can trigger one. She spent several months in physical therapy, went to tons of doctors appointments, had MRIs, EEGs, and by the Grace of God, has been seizure free for over 3 years. Even though the seizures were awful, I’ve always been so thankful Margot’s outcome wasn’t worse.
The “what ifs” that have haunted me for years after Margot’s injury are Laura’s horrible reality.
Margot’s seizures started 36 hours after her doctor’s appointment.
Lainey Mae died 36 hours after hers.
Even though I’ve spoken about this topic openly several times over the past few years, I still get a pit in my stomach every time I share. It’s not fun to be on the “wrong side” of something as divisive as this. But I refuse to let fear + judgment stand in the way of sharing stories like these.
And my goal in sharing is never to instill fear or provoke anger. Obviously situations like this aren’t super common. But they do happen…to more people than you might think. But they’re scared to speak up. And THAT’s the problem.
Why are we shut down and censored when we try to talk about this? We can talk and share about nearly anything on social media, but we get flagged and shadow-banned if we even mention the word vaccine.
As parents, we are responsible for knowing what goes into our children’s bodies. So I WANT people to ask questions, I WANT to hear stories, I WANT more studies to be done, I WANT to hear both sides of the argument, I WANT to know the risks and benefits so that I can make a decision that feels right for my family.
And even though it’s impossible to know beforehand how your body is going to react to what you put in it, I’d much rather go into a situation with knowledge and confidence versus going in blindly and dealing with the consequences I didn’t even know existed. Unfortunately, even asking to see vaccine inserts at your child’s well check-up often results in shame and judgement from the nurses and doctors we are told to trust. That is simply not okay.
Please don’t misconstrue what I’m saying.
I know that vaccines have saved many, many lives.
I don’t think they’re inherently evil or wrong, and I’m happy they exist!
But I believe we should be able to make our own choices when it comes to our health and the health of our families. And there are people out there fighting against that every day, hoping to create mandates that make it illegal not to be fully vaccinated regardless of your family’s medical history or personal beliefs.
I want us all to feel confident in the choices we make, whatever they are! And to do that, we need ALL of the information — benefits, risks, and side effects of what is going into our bodies. Not just the narrative that fits whatever big pharma and Instagram want us to believe. People who are asking questions that don’t fit the narrative are being shut down and silenced. People whose children have suffered severe injury and death are made fun of and scoffed at and not believed.
WHY?
Who has more to gain — the grieving mother sharing her devastating story of vaccine injury? Or the vaccines makers and all of giant companies and corporations who are making billions (yea, with a B!) of dollars off of adding more and more vaccines to an already packed out schedule?
The point of writing this is not to change anyone’s stance (again, I want you to do what feels right for you). Instead, I simply want to shed light on the fact that these things do happen. And the overwhelming feeling that I, and every other parents of a child who was injured or died from a vaccine, experience when I share about it is fear. Fear because choosing to talk about it = cancellation, broken friendships, judgement and ridicule.
If you feel so inclined, give Laura’s podcast a listen. If anything, I hope that Lainey’s story will soften the hearts of people who have harshly judged the mothers and families who have experienced and chosen to speak about this in the past.
As always I write these words with nothing but love and respect, regardless of your choices or stance. And I kindly ask that you show the same respect to me, Laura, and any other families you know who have chosen to share their story.
Xo,
Addi